Posted in My Beginning

Put A Leash On That Thing!

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Fantastic Friday, here we are, and today I broke my fast!  I feel really great about this one, had a 6 complete days of control, and proved a point to myself. – I can do it, and keep doing it over again.

I took Hannah and our neighbor girl on a nice little mile walk around the lake tonight after work (stop and go as they got in and out of the wagon).  It was a great time with sunshine, and fresh air, the geese and the ducks.
……And an obnoxious dog that was quite sweet until he decided to suddenly jump up and yes, he licked my face.  Ew.  I am a dog person, don’t get me wrong, but WTH what possesses them to jump up and show you the love on your face. Gross.  Get a grip puppy!!!

Important lesson of the day – put a leash on it!  Simmer down, now! The Gods were speaking to me – just a subtle (or not so subtle actually) reminder – No need to get all excited and just go crazy, Its gonna have a bad end result.  There’s my sign for the day, get a grip!  Just another little nugget of information I realized just from taking the time to stop and pay attention to what’s going on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not gonna read something into everything that happens to me, but I thought the whole little bit of love…. little bit of love….. BAM lick on the face episode – that was noteworthy.  HA!

So, onward and upward.  32lbs down from January, a new sense of self, some kick ass new habits, and a little more confidence in myself.  How can it get any better than this?  I don’t know, but I know its only gonna get better.  Have a great weekend everybody, and look out for that “I’m gonna lick ya in the face now” behavior.

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Posted in My Beginning

Juicy!

I don’t even know how to jump back in!  So, like I’m pulling a band aid off, I’m just gonna do it!

I started another juice fast yesterday.  I’ve been kicking the idea around for a couple of weeks actually, and when I woke up yesterday I was getting caught up on my favorite blog  http://www.health-actually.com/    Amy – the author of that blog – was finishing up a spring juice fast.  Low and behold she mentioned a comment I made on her blog last January.  We had a discussed the idea of not breaking a fast in an emotional moment, and she touched on that idea as her fast was coming to an end.  So there was my next sign.  I had passed across the mind of a mentor of mine in the juice world.   I actually am part of this community, time to show up.

Showing up vs participating.  Not just physically being there, but devoting myself to the moment.   Makes me wonder what all I have missed out on in life just for lack of focus. But that’s another day. 

My health and the way I take care of myself has improved this year but its no where near what I want it to be.  I continue to slowly lose weight, I take in more food that is better for me, and try to be conscious about my activity.  The difference this year is I’m aware of what I’m putting in my mouth and how it will make me feel.

Now I need to focus.  Right now I’m kinda hangin out in the crowd of health and well being.  Its time to devote myself because I really want this.  I want to be healthy, and feel even better, and set a good example.  I think about it every day.  One of the things that bothers me most about myself is I am fully aware of how to take care of myself but I don’t do it.  I beat myself up about it, I get so frustrated with myself.  I feel like a total hypocrite.  So, if you don’t like something – the only choice is to change it!

It’s time to re-boot. That is what Joe Cross http://www.jointhereboot.com calls a fast and this morning I truly understand why.  I’m just kinda lingering, spinning my wheels right now. Its time to reset, start over and pay more attention to my health again.  I’ve been told that each reboot gets a little easier, and you feel a little better.  24 hours into this one I feel really good.  I’ve shed some water weight and I slept fairly well last night.  I have a mild headache and don’t have a very long fuse today but I’ts not too bad.

So my goal right now is 7 days!  Still reaching for the distance…….

Amy

Posted in My Beginning

This is day 9…….

Yesterday was day 8. It was a really good day. My energy was thru the roof and I felt like I had reached a place in my body where I was getting used to juicing and the way it made me feel. When I got home I had made a decision, I had not lost control. It was time to break my fast. I was done. I didn’t eat when I decided I was done, I waited a few hours to be sure that I wasn’t giving up, I was making a choice.

I went to the store to restock my juicing supplies, and I bought some groceries. When I got home I made myself the best fire roasted tomato fresh mozzarella soup and enjoyed every bite. And I sat down and thought – how do you feel? I felt like I had made the ultimate decision of self control and did what my body was telling me to do- and I felt great.

Some will hear my story and think – well, she failed, she said she was going 10 day’s and bottom line she didn’t make it. Yesterday this became more than about a magical number of 10. You can call BS if you want but it won’t bother me. I am craving veggies, I feel great and for the first time in a long time I feel like I am in control and that feels good! Most importantly I am not looking at an ending, I’m looking at a new beginning.

My goal is not a date on the calendar. It was, because that is what I needed to get the fire started. My goal is not a number on the scale. My goal is not a pant size or swimsuit season. My goal is to get it right in my head and make a change.

I waited to write this until I got up this morning, day 9. I wanted to really think about how I felt and be sure did I make a really good choice or am I being the queen of justification and rationalizing a bad choice? ……I feel way too excited about my life right now to feel anything other than pride in doing a fast, and anticipation about what lies ahead. 8 days = 16lbs, better sleep, feeling healthy, energetic, lighter, and involved in a whole new community of health conscious people. That’s one hell of a week! So, what’s next?

I’m excited to cook for my family again this weekend. That was something I just couldn’t do much of while fasting. It was hard enough to be around all the food we normally have in the house, let alone bring myself to have too much contact with any type of food. I really enjoy cooking and creating meals, so I gotta tell you I am excited to cook some delicious and nutritious food.

I am excited to set a good example for my kids – especially my girl. I know what body image concerns can do to a girl and I wouldn’t ever want to think I contributed to Hannah having trouble with health and wellness. She is a great eater by instinct and I want to build on that for her. I want my food to consist of proteins, veggies and fruits. I want to eat in moderation. I don’t want to take in 100 calories of crap food my body can’t use just because its only 100 calories. I don’t want to consume a calorie free substance because it is going to be made of chemicals my body won’t know what to do with. I refuse to put anything but premium fuel in my car, why would I put less than premium fuel in my body? Simple ingredient foods, home made food’s that my body will metabolize and benefit from. Eating responsibly, smart, and to helping my body run right. I will definitely juice as much as possible to fill myself with micronutrients because its amazing! I love it.

I’m ready to be fit and active, I am so excited to push myself to do and be more!! I’m still reaching for the distance…….

Amy

Posted in My Beginning

Day 7

Ugh, a week with out food -wait – I mean Hooray a week of juicing!! I actually feel pretty good today. I still want to eat though.

I have gotten so much unexpected support through this. It’s really something to think about — those who rally around you when you are trying something new, or pushing yourself to do something you never thought you would or could do. What a great quality the human race possesses, or maybe I’m just lucky enough to be able to surround myself with really good people. Either way, its amazing to witness the cheer section that congregates when you just let people know you could use a little upmh….. Makes me have renewed love of people. And makes me want to go out and do something nice for everybody I know.

A juice fast for 10 days is something I never ever ever even contemplated. This is completely out of character for me. Anybody who knows me knows I love a good meal, I enjoy my alcohol, I am a big connoisseur of desserts. They also know have always had issues being overweight. Some times have been better than others, but its always an issue. It makes me sad. I hate it. I am self conscious. It makes me not like myself. I am hoping that a drastic change like this will make me feel better about myself because am going t to take better care of myself. If I didn’t feel so guilty about the food I put in my mouth maybe I would just feel better about myself in some
way. So what’s the solution? Eat better, take better care of myself. Sounds pretty straight forward. What’s my problem then?

Its not just me, I realize that. What is it about this fantastic human machine that lets us realize what we need to do to better ourselves – but then allows us to not follow through with it? Why isn’t it a survival instinct to always do the right thing? Instead we smoke, drink, take down fried foods like they will have no impact on our bodies, eat candy, chocolate, carbs, processed foods, and greasy meats when we all know that its not the right thing to do. Our bodies are amazing! But they also allow us to make harmful choices – I don’t get it! Doesn’t it make sense that the protective mechanisms we all have within us to survive would just reject all these things? Instead we are drawn to them like moths to the flame. Enticed daily everywhere we go. American society makes it easy, and its just getting worse! Motorized scooters so we don’t’ have to walk, online ordering so you don’t even have to leave the house , and drive through’s so if God forbid you do have to drive somewhere you don’t have to leave your nice warm seat of your car. We are truly blessed with luxury.. or are we?

It’s not American Society that made me overweight . I am an adult, I am educated, for Pete’s sake I’m a nurse. I’m expected to teach people how to take care of themselves. How can I preach when I’m not a follower? And why is not taking care of ourselves a survival instinct? Survival of the fittest maybe? Natural selection?

If that’s the case, then Ok, I get it. Take care or die. If we all took stellar care of ourselves the planet would be so over populated we wouldn’t be able to move! Well, I want to be here. I don’t want to be vulnerable to disease, and make it easy for my body to break down. I also don’t want anybody I know and love to not take care of themselves.

So, day 7 of this journey. This has become way more than just about food for me. I’m searching for understanding, clarity, peace , pride, and resolve. This has become a spiritual experience, and I’m so glad I’m doing it

I’m reaching for the distance.

Amy

Posted in My Beginning

Hello world!

Good morning!  My name is Amy.  I am 35 and live in Iowa.  I am a wife, mom of 2 kids ages 5 and 8, a nurse, a daughter, sister and friend.  January 1st I watched Fat Sick and Nearly Dead for the second time.  I thought to myself I’m fatigued, irritable, depressed and overweight.  What’s next…..  I know well enough that what you put in you body effects every aspect of your life.  A couple days later I saw a quote reading “I can’t help someone not willing to help themselves….including me”  What more was I waiting for?  I mean come on!

So, I ordered a juicer and waited.  The night it came in I went straight to the store and bought a bunch of kale, spinach, parley, lemons, oranges, apples, carrots – well, you get the idea.  I came home, made a juice (after eating a slice of pizza) and decided the next morning I would start a 3 day juice fast.  No pop, no coffee, no solid food, just fresh veggie and fruit juices for 3 days.  I would see how it goes….  After all Joe Cross did it for 60 days in the movie and it totally transformed his life.  I could do 3.

Sunday, day 3 came around and I had done it!  I was tired, edgy, and hungry, but I felt  gooood.   (if that makes any sense)  I slept well, I hadn’t snored that night, it was clear to me I wasn’t going to die from not eating  (even though for some minutes I wondered –  LOL).  I watched it again – Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. I decided in my mind I would try for 10 days, then I said it out loud and was committed to it.  10 days – not forever.  Why not?  I have a cousin who introduced me to the idea of juicing and she was totally hooked!  Never felt better.  What made me so special that I couldn’t’ at least try.  I started telling my family and close friends.  Now  I was really committed.  If I quit everybody I knew would know I failed.  No pressure there right?

Today is day 6.  I have officially doubled my first goal.  I haven’t liked every minute.  I actually wondered if I wouldn’t finish this fast in jail for assaulting someone because I was so frickin irritable at times!  But I have sustained energy like never before, I haven’t taken any allergy meds for 3 days, haven’t snored for 4 nights now, and every once in a while I get this rush for no good reason other than my body is feelin good baby!

If you don’t know much about juice detox, or a re-boot, the main enticing feature to me is that you take in micronutrients that aren’t just healthy for your body, it actually cleans your cells and fine tunes your machine.  Its amazing.  Your body can function with sluggish cells but it is taken to a whole new level when its fed the proper nutrients.

I love food.  I actually have a love hate relationship with food.  It comforts me but then it just purely pisses me off.  It is a habit, a pacifier, mood stabilizer, my eternal companion that is slowly killing me.  Food isn’t what birthdays are about, what defines the holidays, what vacations are for, or how we go out and socialize with friends – or is it?  Don’t some foods trigger memories for you?  Trigger emotions?  Wouldn’t thanksgiving not be thanksgiving without turkey and stuffing?  And the ever popular birthday dinner always celebrated in our home – its the ritual that surrounds opening presents that day! (and whats a birthday without cake?)

One word.  Control.  I’d lost it like I’d lost my marbles.     So I’m juicing!  I’m taking back some sense of well being and control.  I’ve had headaches from no caffeine, I’ve been so hungry my stomach hurt, I’ve been light headed, my skin smells like veggies, and there is some strange film in my mouth from the detox that I have been assured is normal.  BUT  I have a clear mind, I have clear lungs, I am at some sort of peace knowing I have made it this far.  I have lost 13 lbs.  And for all the odd and annoying side effects from fasting, I can’t bring myself to stop yet.

Sunday night I’m gonna sit down and have a small meal with my family and I’m really looking forward to that. That is just the beginning of a new start.  I will do my best to be healthier.  I will eat, but will still do a green juice every day for the nutrients. I will make better decisions and be a good example for my kids, my friends and family, and my patients.  It won’t be perfect.  But I will try.

Its so hard to see so many of my patients in the hospital, and even some close to me who’s lives would be totally different if they just took control of their diet and lifestyle.  Instead they are on medication.  And to treat the side effects of those meds they are on more meds.  They miss work, time with their families, vacations, gatherings with friends because they are ill.  I am not going to end up like that.  

Control, and clarity    Not perfection- and forgiveness when I am re-focusing my goals instead of beating myself up.

The rest is still unwritten.  I’m reaching for the distance, hoping you will join me on my journey.

Amy